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Mental Flexibility: What My Daughter Taught Me About Splits

  • Jul 9
  • 3 min read
girl making a split

The Bridge That Started It All

When I was a child, I could do the splits, bend into a bridge, and stand back up without even thinking about it. Back then, my body seemed capable of almost unimaginable flexibility.

Somewhere along the way, I lost those abilities. Not overnight. It happened so gradually that I barely noticed.

Perhaps our minds change in much the same way. We rarely wake up one morning and realise we’ve become less open or less willing to see another perspective. Those changes happen quietly, little by little, until one day something—or someone—helps us notice.


In my case, it was watching my daughter.


She effortlessly bends into a bridge, practises gymnastics, and moves with the same ease I once had. Every now and then I catch myself saying, “You know, I used to be able to do that too.”

After saying that a few times, I found myself wondering why I couldn’t do those things anymore. Why had my body become so much less flexible? And then another question quietly appeared:

Had my thinking become less flexible too?


Flexibility Beyond the Body

That thought stayed with me. The more I reflected on it, the more I realised it touched something I often speak about in my work as a psychologist. We usually associate flexibility with something physical—our bodies. Yet I often talk to clients about mental flexibility: our ability to step outside familiar patterns, consider new perspectives and respond to life’s challenges with greater openness and adaptability.


It made me wonder whether our minds, just like our bodies, also need regular stretching if we want to keep them flexible.


Children Don’t Mind Changing Their Minds

Children don’t seem to carry this resistance in quite the same way because learning is their normal state. They’re naturally more open to new information, new ideas and new ways of seeing the world. They’re usually much more willing to try a different approach, explore a new idea or change direction halfway through. Adults often find that much harder.


One year my daughter is completely fascinated by ballet. Then it’s gymnastics. Later it’s contemporary dance. Right now, it’s acting. She moves from one interest to another without worrying whether she’s being inconsistent. She’s simply curious.


I’ve noticed something else about children. Although children are generally much more flexible than adults, that mental flexibility often seems to disappear when they’re exhausted.

Think of a tired child who can’t find the particular teddy or blanket they always sleep with. In that moment, nothing else will do. The whole family may end up searching the house because the child becomes completely fixed on finding that one thing. Yet when they’re well rested, they might happily accept another toy or come up with a different solution.


It made me wonder whether mental flexibility is something we need to actively practise throughout our lives. The example of the tired child reminds us that thinking flexibly takes mental effort. When we’re exhausted, that effort becomes much harder, and we naturally fall back on familiar ways of thinking.


Perhaps mental flexibility is much like physical flexibility. Just as we need to keep stretching our bodies if we want to remain physically flexible, we also need to keep stretching our minds. The more we practise considering different perspectives, staying curious and remaining open to new ideas, the more naturally mental flexibility becomes part of our everyday lives.


The longer we’ve followed the same way of thinking, the easier that path becomes to follow.

Sometimes we don’t reject a new idea because it’s wrong. We reject it because changing the way we think requires effort. It’s often easier to stay with what’s familiar than to explore a different perspective.


Thank you for reading.


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This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional medical or psychological diagnosis or advice. If you experience any physical or mental health concerns, please seek support from a qualified professional.


© 2026 Antonia Bai Psychology. All texts and materials are the intellectual property of Antonia Bai. Copying, republishing, or using any part of these writings, images, or excerpts in any form is only permitted with the prior authorisation of the author.



 
 
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